bus streaks.

It seems like a lot of things happen to me on the bus. I suppose it is only normal because being confined in a moving vehicle for such an amount of time will likely lead you to notice things, hear conversations and have extreme flashbacks. Does not happen to you? Fine, it is just me then.

I went to Ikea today to get some things (as one does in Ikea), I've got to take the 118 Kanata and stop at Baseline/Southwood. It is about 25 minutes of bus time. I love buses. I like sitting in my seat and wondering if the person that is getting on will decide to sit next to me, or move a couple of seats back. It is always fun to guess if that girl is with that guy, or if that person just got back from Loblaws and wonder what they bought. I tend to do things like that on bus. The best ones are phone conversations. If some one is on the phone and they're talking really loudly, I listen and sort of have a conversation with them in my head. If the man says, "So I'm on the bus," I'll answer him in my mind and say, "Yea, I know. I'm on the bus too." Or something ridiculous of that sort.

But today's bus trip was slightly different.

I sat on the first row of forward looking seats, and there was an old lady sitting in front of me in the side looking seats. She was an old black lady and she was there with her husband, I think. They were pretty old. She had on a knitted hat and a coat and black boots. She wore glasses and had wrinkles on her face. But what hit me so hard was the way she had her lip balm on. It was some how smeared all over her mouth. It's the glossy kind, the ones that treat the lips rather than have sparkly things in them. She had her lips fully coated in this glossy lip balm and it went over the edge of lips and her cheekbones were high, and they were quivering slightly. I sat there, and just watched her.

Then I felt my heart hurt so badly. It hurt so much I had to turn my iPod off and sit there in silence as I looked at her. I thought of my Grandma. My Grandma used to smear on her lip balm just like that too. I have never seen anyone else smear it on like this old lady and Grandma. She used this specific brand of lip balm that had vitamin C in it or something. I remember once when I went with her to the mall, she bought 5 tubes of it at once. She gave me one and kept the rest. I don't think she managed to finish them all before she passed away last year. My Grandma died of cancer in June 2008.

She was the most amazing person I knew, and when she left, my heart hurt so much, I could not do anything for the longest time. She had such a strong presence in all our lives, that everywhere I looked, I saw her. Yes, sometimes I took her for granted, but now I know to never make that mistake with anyone else again.

When I looked at that old lady's high cheekbones and sunken skin, I thought she looked exactly like Grandma during her last few weeks. My Grandma was bed ridden for the last few weeks of her life, and I remember sitting next to her and talking to her. Telling her about what happened, who was there to visit her and I talked about all the funny things that happened in our family. Till today I can still feel her bony hands and smooth skin under mine when I put lotion on my own hands. I used to sit there for hours rubbing Nivea lotion on her hands and feet. It was the saddest thing I ever had to do in my life. I remember that the closer she got to leaving us, the more I thought she was going to stay and keep going strong. The morning before she passed away, I said to my mom that Grandma might just make it through, I said I had a feeling. I was wrong.

The lady on the bus started to smile at the passengers in front of her and when I saw her teeth beneath her cracked smile, I thought of how my Nenek (it means 'Grandma' in Malay I'd switch between 'Nenek' and 'Grandma') used to smile like that too; a big dorky smile with all her teeth showing. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. The bus reached the intersection and the old lady and her husband got off. I wanted to thank her for reminding me of my Grandma, but figured it would have just been too odd. So I gave her a smile, and when she smiled back, I felt like it was my Grandma smiling back to me. Yes, highly unlikely, but at that moment I missed my Grandma so badly. Even now as I write this, with tears streaking down my face and nose all clogged up, I miss her even more. I can not believe I've made it this far without my Grandma. She was remarkably annoying. She irritated me to the core and kept an eye on me all the time. She was always in my business, always there, always asking and talking. She used to call me everyday without fail, her first question would be "Where are you? Have you eaten? What did you eat?" and then I'd go on and on and tell her about what happened to me that day. And then at the end of our phone conversations, I'd always say "I love you Nenek," and she'd always say "Thank you." Then at the beginning of last year, slightly before she started getting really sick, she started replying "Thank you, love you too." which I found kind of strange, because even though she said it sometimes, she never said it often. It hurts so much when I think about it. It still hurts.

I can not believe I'm actually crying *reaches for tissues*, but I just miss her so much. When she was sick, I combed her hair and whispered little nonsensical things in her ear, just to keep her mind off things. Because when I was a little girl, that's what she did to me. Now that I'm turning 20 soon, all I wish for is for Grandma to know that I've gotten this far because of her, and I think about her everyday. That old lady in the bus really helped me in thinking about all the pain we have to go through. If I did not look at her this morning, I would have never opened this little bottle of feelings. I owe this wonderful old lady for all these great memories she has made me recall. And I owe my Grandma for making me the person I am today.

" love you Nenek" -Iman.

P.S: If you still have your Grandma, give her a kiss and tell her you love her. Because I can not do that to mine anymore. Do it please, for me :)

you are so plastic-cal.

If you have never watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, you are seriosuly missing out on the world of classical Hollywood cinema. It is one of my most favourite movies. However if you do end up watching it and think that it sucks, remember this; you just do not have my kind of taste. If you have never watched this video, worry not. Because you can click on the 'Play' button and view it. Now, is that not wonderful?

I have now come to terms that Youtube simply despises me to the core by giving me shitty looking video stills. Oh well, you do not judge, right?

disappear.

Now, you really must not be furious at me. I shall be quite, how do you say; 'gone' for a few days. A week perhaps. Yes, no updates and blog posts for a week or so. Why? Well I have an essay due next Friday for my favourite class; Global Political Issues. I am writing about Child Marriages and the UNICEF's efforts to reduce it as well as brush the Convention of the Rights of the Child upon it ohso slightly. I am super hyped about it and the more I read on it, the more I itch to start writing it. I suppose I could start, but I do not want to until I know enough material without having to flip through my notes every few seconds. Yes. And on Thursday we are having our Journalism Mid-Term/Final. The slash (/) is there because it is technically too late to be a Mid-Term and a little too early for it to qualify as a Final. This exam is sort of a 'sum up' of this semester's material (can you believe that I'm about to finish my first semester in university?!) so it counts for a lot. We have to answer 75 multiple choice questions in one and a half hours. You might frown and ask "I thought Journalism is about writing? Why is it a multiple choice exam?", well dear person, it is because we have been learning the basics, theories and skill sets that all journalists must learn. And apparently it is harder to ace when it is multiple choice based. Ohwell. So yes, I shall be studying for that.

I've got to catch up on readings and write a reading report for Canadian Studies. Then on November 30th we have our Film Mid-Term/Final (same case) which requires hours of scrutinizing over film shorts, camera positions and theories. Do not get me wrong, I am excited to dive into such work. That's why I am writing this post, to let you that I have not died under a pile of books in the library (it is my new favourite place on campus now! It is super nice and quite, and best of all; no rude noisy people to disturb your nerding fun).

As a sort of appeasement gift, I shall show you what my room looks like. Lots of people have asked where Iman lives and how awesome her room is. Let me just say that it is nothing spectacular (It shall soon be. With time. With time) but it keeps me warm and happy. Now remember, do not judge my taste in room-ification.

Well this is the major wall in my room. I bought these posters at the Imaginus fair. They were pretty cheap. I think on average each one was 8 dollars. They are pretty huge too! I've got my Carleton crest in between the Raven bam-bams that I got at the pep rally tacked up above my bed. The first poster is called; Seine, Paris. It's a long shot of Paris and the Eiffel in the distance. I really love it. It is a beautiful shot. The middle one is a low angle of the Eiffel from beneath. It is all illuminated and simply breathtaking. The one right-most is a silver and black map of the world. It's on glossy-ish poster paper and I think it's one of the most beautiful maps I've seen. I actually just stood there for 10 minutes looking at it last night, mentally putting pins on where I want to go. Which is everywhere.

This is the door from the other side of the room. My closet is right next to the door. Between the closet and the door, I've tacked up a map of Carleton's campus, just so I know where everything is and not get lost. Above it is a map of the part of Ontario where I am right now. So, Arnprior, Kingston, Brockville and Cornwall are on the map. Ah yes, you can see my shoes in the closet! Regrettably I can not wear my flats now, it is too cold! Then next to my closet is my dresser where all my un-hangable clothes go; pants, jeans, t-shirts, towels and such. There is also another small poster of le Eiffel.

When I get up in the morning, I usually open my eyes and see the ceiling. Then I sit up straight in bed, rub my eyes and look at my door. I do not know why I do that. It is quite odd I must say. Anyway, I decided to put up a little sign on the door that says "Stop. Breathe. Cry if you must." It is such a simple trio of words, yet it sort of gets me fired and ready to go. The back of my door also has my cork board with random things pinned on it; the Bubba Gump coaster Jowee and Mel signed, the seven news values written on a strip of green paper, my keys, some business cards, the envelope my mom sent me and my tickets to the Ottawa 67s game. Then I've got an ASB postcard stuck up there too.

The room from the opposite corner. Yes, that is the Canadian flag. I've just always wanted one ok! That is the window that gives me inadequate light. That is the table that I am sitting at now, which annoys me to the core because the pull-out thing at the bottom comes off every time I jiggle me knees! If you look ever so slightly, on the wall there, I've got the Universal Declaration of Human Rights posted up. It is just sort of a reminder of all the rights we have. Zaleha gave me a glow in the dark sheep which is stuck there too! My printer, slightly hidden behind my backpack, is super heavy. I know this because I had to carry it all the way from South Keys back to my house. In relative terms, that is kind of like going to Adni to my house 4 times, back and forth/walking from Pyramid to the condo twice, back and forth! I am not even joking.

My closet; where all my little secrets are hidden. Yes, you can see the Obama poster. I LOVE IT! I saw it, and was like "I need it!" It was only 6 dollars too, I can starve a few days for an Obama poster. Sooo worth it. The door also has tiny pictures of all the people I adore. Photos of love I should say. On the other side of my closet door (not visible in the photo) I have put up a list of head of state/head of government of almost every country in the world. I've got to know those things, so I figured that I take a long time to get dressed, so that should be pretty useful; read and dress at the same time. Yep, I've got a considerable amount of clothes too. I said do not judge!

This shows you that I obviously did not clean up my room before taking these pictures. The ordinary girly components :)

My super snugly Ikea booties! Very appropriate for cold winter nights and simply for those moments when you wished that you were Santa's girlfriend.

My devoted companions. That white and blue notebook at the bottom of the photo; I made it. I am not even joking. I really did. I recycled used paper for the pages and I love it. I scribble little things into it.

So yes, thank you for stopping by. I can not really type anymore because I am so tired. I have got to stride through this last month, and like the brilliant Carly Pender said to me, "Go hard, young one. Go hard." And that is what I shall do.

this is what i mean.

May I just say something?

I hate the word 'Islamaphobia'. I hate what it means, the generalization of the term and how it makes people look at me differently. I hate how people could even think that little girls like me are dangerous. The term means to have a fear of people who are Muslims or who believe in Islam. I do not believe that your faith ultimately defines the person you are or the morals/principles you live by.

The news on CBC this week is racked up with Islamic names. I say Islamic names, and not Islamic people because I refuse to associate my faith to someone wo has created so much pain, anger and destruction. Something that maybe people do not know is this; Islam is arabic and it comes from the root word 'salam', which in turn means peace (Hah! Someone has clearly been paying attention in Islamic Studies class!) How could a religion, a faith based on the message of peace for all, stir so much hate in the world?

It is not the faith these people hide behind from that justifies their behavior. It is the people they are. I despise individuals who do 'heroic acts' (AKA kill Innocent people) and claim that it was for the cause of Islam. Excuse me, but that is extreme and utter bullshit. A religion that advocates for the death of others is not a one that is linked to God. In school we were taught to live peacefully with those of others faiths, we were taught to never force someone to believe what they do not. It is the freedom of choice for you to decide and determine where your belief lies. Speaking on a personal note (then again, almost everything I am saying is on a personal note), I believe that God gives 'hidayah' (Gosh, I really don't know what that word is in English) in His own time to people. You are what you are because God has 'chosen' you. That's what I think. That's why my mommy always said 'Pray that God gives him/her hidayah', she never said 'Don't be friends with that chick because she's Christian'. There is no divide in faith. It's either you believe, or you don't. And those who believe know that there is no excuse for your actions by blaming it on faith.

Now, what irks me to the core are these so called 'religious leaders' who advocate for the deaths of those who are not of the same faith. It is these people (I do not want to demean unto them any sort of derogatory words as they may be better than me in some ways, and I do not know them personally thus I do not have the right to coin any sort of 'names'. But you know what I'm thinking) who call for 'heads of the kafirs' and praises those that do so. Those are not Muslims. I don't know what they are, but I refuse to declare that we share the same faith.

This week, a supposedly Muslim military man (American Military) shot 13 people and wounded 29. An 'Islamic Leader' in Yemen apparently praised this military man on his blog and called him a 'hero'. My a**. You are not a hero when you kill innocent/unarmed people. You are not a hero when you take away a life of someone who has yet to live it to the fullest. You are not a hero when you leave a child without his father or mother. You are not a hero. He is not. (I need a moment..Moment over) His name was repeated on the news so many times this week, and I felt a sense of shame and embarrassment when his name came up. It was because his Islamic name made me feel that I was part of his doing, that I was somehow going to get looked at differently because of what he did.

Let me share something with you; when I look/hear about a person who has done something wrong, I do not think "Oh, is he Christian/Jewish/Buddhist? Ah, he is? I thought so. They always do things like that." These days people validate actions based on the wrong doer's beliefs. What is up with that?! A person does not do something wrong because of what their faith is, IT IS THEM. IT IS THE PERSON THEY ARE, AND NOT WHAT THEIR RELIGION IS. I get so mad/upset when the public feels that when a Muslim does a terrorizing act, it is because they are doing it for the cause of Jihad (Which, by the way, is defined wrong, and people are misusing it. If I have enough energy I shall get to it), no way! They did that act because of the people they are. They are just bad people. They are just evil people who want to rid the world of 'peace'. They are wrong, it's not their religion that is wrong, it's them. When someone has done a terrible act, I look at them and say, 'There's something wrong with the person. The person. The person. The person!'

Another headliner this week was the execution of John Allen Muhammad (You know where I'm getting at), he killed 10 people with a sniper in 2002. It was said that he joined the Nation of Islam and changed his surname to Muahammad. Just let me say that he has tarnished this name. (I need another moment.. Ok, I'm good) There is something brutal about hearing the name of someone you love, over and over again, and having it associated with something disgusting and inhumane. This sniper-shooter, in my opinion, does not stand for Islam. His murders are not a reflection of the faith he 'supposedly had' (of which I seriously doubt), it defined who he is. His killings mirrored him as a person, and NOT Islam as a religion.

I am getting tired. Tired of the way Islamphobia is now 'really' word. Tired that is being used to define hate. Tired that feelings of animosity are being held towards those that stand for peace. There is something with wrong those people who say that Islam calls for 'the deaths of those who are not'. And there is also something wrong with people who think all Muslims are terrorists.

We are not terrorists, and those who are, I seriously question their faith and conscience.

Some people are evil because they are, not because their religion makes them evil.

Now I shall strongly leave with a little piece of my integrity intact because I feel like I've shared what I believe, and I shall continue to advocate. We little Muslims girls, with these scarves on, and strong personalities; we're not to be taken lightly nor should we be overlooked. Our views and voices have been silenced for so long, but now that we are being (I should probably say 'I') discriminated against, we shall (I really should say 'I') make known that we are not like those 'men' who claim that they are symbols of faith, we are (Ok, this is probably where I should not say 'I'). Thanks guys, have a great week.

never.

Because I don't want to ever forget the people who are the dearest. And I almost did. This is so I never do again.

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

Melissa Hsu

WHY DO YOU LOVE?

I love her because she ditches me on Skype so she can talk to Fred. I love her because her obsession with all things pink and Daniel Wu is highly entertaining. I love her because she makes me believe that there is someone for everyone. I love her because she is my only rival in marshmallow mouth stuffing. I love her because her writing is huge and curly and makes me think of curly fries. I love her because her nose gets red when she cries and does this weird little sniffle thing. I love her because the way she hugs me makes me feel like I can never be loved more than how she loves me. I love her because she has the cutest hamster face and orders the same thing whenever we eat at pink. I love her because she calls me babi. I love her because she states the most obvious revelations and makes it a huge thing. I love her because she whines like fuck when she's unhappy. I love her because she is not scared to make waiters piss in their pants. I love her because she never lets me be alone when I need someone. I love her because she never calls me. I love her because she finds something she wants and goes for it, and doesn't give a shit if no one believes she can not do it. I love her because she plans all these little schemes that only work sometimes. I love her because she pretends to be nice to people sometimes but roll her eyes at them when they're not there. I love her because if it's not right, she will make sure it is right. I love her because the weird voice she puts on when she mimics people never sounds like the people she's mimicking. I love her because her vlogs make me laugh. I love her because she will teach my kids how to swear in Korean. I love her because she does not laugh at my jokes when they are not funny. I love her because she is never afraid to stand up for something she believes in. I love her because she makes rad videos. I love her because takes amazing photographs. I love her because she loves Fred. I love her because she is beautiful. I love her because she is my hero. I love her because she draws the most adorable cows. I love her because she talks in a little girl voice when she picks up the phone. I love her because she screams. I love her because every time she calls me 'azman' I feel like the most special 'azman' there will ever be. I love her because she gets along with my sister. I love her because she always has a water bottle with her. I love her because she hits my arm so hard I swear it would've come off if I didn't dodge the second blow. I love her because she lets me cuddle with her. I love her because she completes my world. I love her because she is my best friend. I love her because there is no one else like Melissa Hsu. I love her because she loves me too.

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

Tee Jowee.

WHY DO YOU LOVE?

I love her because she picks up my hand and hits my head with it. I love her because she does the weird double lid thing with her eye when I ask her to. I love her because she understands me like no one else, she reads my mind, she knows everything, she holds my deepest darkest secrets, she annoys the shit out of me when she's in her moods and she says the right things all the time. I love her because we have so many same possessions, dreams and differing style choices. I love her because we can go out just the two of us and never run out of things to say. I love her because her stupid laugh reminds me that mine is worse. I love her because she slaps me back into reality when I am spiraling into worlds of enchantment. I love her because her plushie Wawa is the most delicious thing ever. I love her because she is cranky as hell in the morning and I've learnt to deal with it. I love her because she sits with me. I love her because her hugs make me think of cotton candy and Anoop. I love her because she does not get my jokes. I love her because I can say anything and she'll still love me. I love her because she is my soul mate. I love her because I don't think I'd need anyone else but her. I love her because she does not have flat abs. I love her because she tries to get flat abs. I love her because I get so homesick when I think about her. I love her because my best days are with her. I love her because she says things I think about but would never dare to say out loud. I love her because I tell her things I don't even want to admit to myself. I love her because she drives safely. I love her because tells me I am stupid as shit. I love her because we use her ideas instead of mine. I love her because she is beautiful. I love her because the way she goes 'mhhmm' when she disagrees is super annoying. I love her because she kicked my ass at the elections. I love her because she believes in her dreams so much but stil has some faith left over for mine. I love her because we will enter the Amazing Race and win. I love her because the way she says 'uhh Iman' makes me feel inferior. I love her because I hated her on the first day of Eng4U. I love her because she bakes, but has never baked for me. I love her because we had classes together in the first semester. I love her because she feeds me music. I love her because she keeps me going. I love her because I am allowed to call her at 3 in the morning and not have her scream. I love her because she made me little notebooks that I carry around in my book bag and they make me feel special. I love her because she updates her blog. I love her because she prays for me. I love her because she completes my world. I love her because she is my best friend. I love her because there is no one else like Tee Jowee. I love her because she loves me too.

WHO DO YOU LOVE?

Zaleha Khalilur Rahman

WHY DO YOU LOVE?

I love her because she bitches about the people I enjoy bitching about. I love her because we are so alike in many ways. I love her because she danced with me. I love her because she went to prom with me. I love her because she recorded a song for me and made her daddy sing too. I love her because her laugh is the best thing to ever hit this planet. I love her because she makes me look at her and think 'what the hell just happened?!' I love her because if I were ever to be a man, she would be the only one I'd love. I love her because she listens to Dixie Chicks and All Saints. I love her because she says 'no wayyy!' in the weirdest way. I love her because she thinks I am wonderful. I love her because I can sit on her bed for hours and hours and just listen to her go on and on without ever thinking about anything else. I love her because even though a lot of crap happened, she forgave me and loves me even more. I love her because I can tell her anything without judging me. I love her because she sends me music and calls them 'orgasmic'. I love her because she uses words like 'orgasmic' and not be bothered by it. I love her because she is the most intelligent creature I know. I love her because she loves her daddy. I love her because she defended my daughter-in-law and freaking lost! I love her because we have sleepovers and sing for hours. I love her because we have Skype dates. I love her because she spells 'love' 'lavv'. I love her because we have long spiels. I love her because nothing will ever make me stop loving her. I love her because she is my sister. I love her because her house is fucking huge. I love her because we swear a lot. I love her because she is beautiful. I love her because she gives me germs. I love her because she plays me music. I love her because she thinks of me. I love her because she is thoughtful. I love her because she believes my lies. I love her because we took our driving test together. I love her because she knew my grandma. I love her because I do. I love her because she has the most adorable nephew. I love her because her hugs smell like detergent and home. I love her because she gives out random squeaks. I love her because we are malay. I love her because I feel the most comfortable I can ever feel when I am around her. I love her because she listens to me. I love her because she does not judge my singing, but lets me sound horrible. I love her because everything we've been through has made us stronger. I love her because she sings like Zaleha. I love her because she lets me call her 'E'a'. I love her because I think about her everyday. I love her because she completes my world. I love her because she is my best friend. I love her because there is no one else like Zaleha Khalilur Rahman. I love her because she loves me too.

I miss you three most.

Never will I ever find/have/love anyone as perfect.

fajitas.

I just got back from a very unexpected Sunday afternoon. I thought that I was headed down to Elgin street to do my interview with Clint (which went absolutely stupendous by the way. Hi Clint! & Jessica! Hah) and that I would go back home to finish my mountain of work. I was extremely mistaken. Instead of taking the 5 downtown where I wanted to get some BodyShop serum for my heavily scarred/acne-fied/imperfect skin, I ended up walking after towards Parliament Hill whilst finishing up my gelato. I walked. Yes, Iman walked.

I walked and walked, and saw these images forming in front of my eyes. My heart could not take it anymore, so I whipped out Greta and started snapping away. I took over 300 photos today. I walked along Elgin, came to a park and sat down for about 20 minutes, then I crossed a few streets and shot the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier from quite a distance, strolled in front of the lions that guard the Post Office, and ended up right in front of the Senate. I waited about 20 minutes for my bus and got home about half an hour ago. While on this highly unexpected Sunday afternoon, I thought to myself "Now I'm really pumped up and ready to get my work done", and I actually am.

It's good to take a little time off and explore the things that make you happy. For me, that now includes Greta and a whole lot of walking.

I decided to put this photo up instead of the other 332 because I giggle a little each time I look at it. The squirrel came up to me when I was looking at the sky and stayed there till I clicked away at its cute little self. Then it ran away.

Hope it made you smile :)

YOU FRICKIN' LIE

& I FRICKIN' HATE YOU.

dystopia.

Hah. For once I'm not in Paterson or Tory. I'm a little hidden away corner in the UniCentre. It's an illusive nook that no one really knows about and you have to enter through one of these obscure little doors and pass by a long hallway to find it. Ok, maybe it's not so unknown, because a few people have popped through to see if the table is taken. And it is. By me, and Anastasia. Who is furiously trying to finish her Human Rights Essay before her Sociology class at 2:30. We have to hand the essay in today, I got mine ready and nicely printed out on Saturday, so I'm quite ready to hand it in.

Yesterday in Film we watched 'Children of Men' by Alfonso Cuaron (he directed one of the Harry Potter movies too. Prisoner of Azkaban I believe) and it was really gruesome movie. Definitely not the run of the mill Iman movies, but it was pretty good nonetheless. I feel that ever since I've taken Film classes, I can never really watch movies the same way again. There's something about looking for a motif, dissecting a shot, analyzing the significance of the angle and camera movements and figuring out the compositions and contrasts that seem to make watching a movie more of a assignment. Don't get me wrong, Film has certainly enhanced my skills (skills?!) and fine tuned my mediocre film sense. But for once I just wish that I could watch a movie without wondering what the filmmaker was thinking when he used the long take instead of using edited scenes. 'Children of Men' is a pretty good movie. The film had a lot of long takes and there was certainly a sense of dystopia in the storyline. A few scenes were quite morbid to me, and I didn't get the narrative most of the time, but I am sure that will be cleared up once I get to my film tutorial in a couple of hours. There are so many artsy-film people to help me out.

That's one of the main things I like about being in University, the tutorials. Sure in high school we had smaller classes so we could have discussions on the spot, but it's definitely different from the conversations/discussions we have in tutorials here. I adore all my TAs and I think they're so good about clarifying what went on the lectures and they're really good at drawing out your thoughts from you, they get you to express yourself more and share ideas. I'm glad I have a very diverse base of TAs. They all specialize in their own 'genres', I don't have two TAs who are alike. That is supreme. I really want to be a TA when I get to my upper years. I would love to be a TA for Political Science, but then again being one for Journalism would be fun too. Goodness, I suppose I should just concentrate on getting through my first year before rambling on about the second, third and fourth. That's if I make it though.

In Journalism, almost half of us don't make in into second year. It's a really competitive program. It was hard enough trying to get in, now we have to fight to stay in. They let you continue if you meet the grade requirement, which is; I really can't remember. But the personal one I set for myself is pretty high and that's the one I'm working for. But then again, some of us opt out of the program and decide to choose a different course. Which is fine too. It just gives me more of a chance to work with those beautiful cameras and boom mikes in third year. Last week we were given our third assignment for Journalism, which is to write a profile on one of your tutorial mates. What my TA did was assign us to who was sitting across the room from us when we were writing our tests a couple of weeks back. She just randomly paired us up, which I think is pretty fair. One of the rules is that you're not allowed to write a profile on someone you already know extremely well. That means I couldn't have gotten paired up with Caleigh or even Sam. I had the awesome chance to get paired up with Jason. I did my interview with him this morning. Our professor said that we had to go into their environment and pick up from how they were in the comfort of their own belongings and space. We went to his room in Lannark House and I felt so bad for disrupting his Tuesday, he does not have class on Tuesday. We met up in front of Timmies in Res Commons at 9:30 and talked till quarter to 11. It was an amazing interview, and I think I've got a pretty good angle. It might be slightly cliche, but it'll work. Another rule for this assignment is that we're not allowed to show our piece to our partner until after we submit it. Jason has told me that he'd like to read it after I hand mine in, just so he can know how someone would see him. Different viewpoints. It's a fun assignment, and now all I have to do is get started writing.

I'm trying to get started writing soon. I've got my political studies paper due soon too, so my goal this weekend is to get one of those pieces written.

It's going to be fairly challenging because on Saturday I'm going to be volunteering with the Otesha Project for my leadership hours with the ELP. I'm not exactly sure what I'll be doing, but either way, it's going to be exciting. I'll get to meet new people (Team Leader for the project included) and learn new things. I like the reflection portion of the Service Days because we get to share our experiences and learn what others thought, and maybe someone might point out things you didn't even notice. Yes, reflections are fun. They can get a little heated sometimes when people have different views, but it's all good in the end. So yes, Saturday shall be fun. Sunday shall be interesting too because I'm going down to Bridgehead on Bank Street to meet with the Journalism Society for our pre-meeting for the Sports Panel we're hosting next week. I'm one of the first year-reps (there are four of us I believe) for the Society, and it's always so inspiring to meet an upper year who is at the beginning of their sublime career and at the end of their formal Carleton experience. The ones I have met are so amazing and I feel so honored to be able to help out the little I can in our events. They are all terrifically nice too but I must say that they intimidate me a little because they know so much, and I have a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of their knowledge and experience. Oh well, when I get to my fourth year, I want to be a quarter of Margaret, a quarter of Allie, a quarter of Carly and a quarter of Natalia. That shall be supreme.

I've been procrastinating the Alternative Spring Break Pre-Departure One, Trick or Eat and Journalism Mentorship Night posts, but I will get to it soon. The photos are all saved up in the drafts, but I don't seem to have the correct penchant of words to narrate the events. I am hungry, and my Human Rights readings are waiting for me. I think I will go get some pakoras from Mike's Place and then sit and finish the readings. Have a great week! And please feel free to leave a comment. I like comments.

of such things.

I have come to realize a few things. 1) I study better when I'm on campus compared to the multitude of hours I spend in my room. I get more work done when I am not surrounded by my personal possessions and food. I tend to float from one non-work related activity to the next when I am at home. Darn. 2) I sleep in on the weekends. I sometimes don't get up till 10am because my rationale is; "I wake up super early on school days, therefore on non-school days, I'm allowed a couple of extra hours to catch up on my sleep time". 3) I hate the desk that our landlord has put in our rooms. I hate it, abhor it, detest it. It is utterly uncomfortable to sit at and it has this weird pull-out level thing that always 'dislocates' when I'm sitting cross-legged or when I'm bouncing my knees up and down. Disgraceful. 4) Doing work is so enjoyable and I tend to get through it pretty happily. It's just starting it is quite burdensome. I mean, you can sit at your desk and then check your email, your Facebook account, your twitter account, your blog, your friends' blogs, your email again, your Carleton email, webCT and your Facebook again, before you start your work just so you won't be thinking about it when you're doing work. Well that's what I go through at least. 5) I am really unhappy in this house. I mean, it's alright and all, but I think I should start looking at other places for the winter semester. I really like my housemates, it's just that the house is pretty old, everything creaks and leaks and well, I want to discover other 'options'. So I've started scouting the Carleton Off-Campus Listings. It's helpful and I'm realizing that a lot of people have places to rent out. I've just paid for this month's rent for this room, so I shall start looking around for a move-in for December or January. Does anyone know any good bachelor apartments for less than $600? If you do, let me know :)

Halloween has come and gone. November is now upon us, and so are the immediate crunch of essays, papers and assignments. I am proud to breathe a sigh of relief and say that I have finished my Human Rights Fall Essay. It's taken quite some time, and I am so happy it's done. Now I've just got to edit it (I've got a soft copy printed out and my pencil ready. I find that it is so much easier to edit essays on a soft copy, rather than read it off the screen) and have it ready for Tuesday. My professor, Bill Skidmore, is the most amazing man. He's so inspirational and wise. It seems like he's seen a lot of events and been through a lot of experiences. I'd love to have some one-on-one time with him and just listen to everything he'd like to share. He constantly reminds us of all the atrocious things humans are able to commit. I do not want to sound gruesome, but I have an intense curiosity of experiencing them firsthand. Of all the scenes, the massive destruction, the strikes and rallies, the calamities and the after-maths of natural disasters. I bet Professor Skidmore has seen everything. When I was writing my essay in Tory (three days in a row), he passed by me twice, and I took that as a sign to keep on writing and not give up. Hah. I'm glad it's done.

Fridays are my favourite days (for obvious reasons, excluding the fact that it is the beginning of the weekend) and this week we were given the official prompt to start on our Fall Essays. I'm excited to start on mine; I am writing about Child Brides and Child Marriages, how they affect regions of young girls all over the world and how with the implementation and action taken towards making the Universal Declaration of Human Rights a reality, we can combat this thriving tradition. Something along those lines. I've also got to tie it in with the study of global politics. I have to spend a couple of weeks mulling over this, but the results will be magnificent, or so I hope. Political Science; Great Political Issues has got to be one of my favourite classes. First off, I'm sitting with some of my most favourite people; Brittny, Adam, Hamza, Jeremy, Luke and Cara. We're the second row-ers. Or so that is what I acknowledge us as in my head. Professor Milner is extraordinary, I have vowed to myself to take a class with him every year.

Besides that, I am pretty excited about Alternative Spring Break: Ottawa. It just seems like a lot of work (mental note: get learning plan done) right now because we've got school work to get done too. But I'm sure as soon as I finish the mandatory readings and assignments, I shall get to the ASB assignments. I just didn't realize that there was a whole lot of things we had to do. Then again, it is a learning experience and I'm all up for that. It's going to be stellar. The Ottawa Group is going to the Campus Safety Office in Robertson Hall on Friday at 2:30pm to hand in our police checks. We need to get that done in order for us to volunteer in the community. You'll need that if you want have contact with the public. They're going to check up on your background and run a security check of your past.... I don't think I've done anything legally damaging, so I should be alright :) I hope.

I haven't taken photos in so long, I had a bit of a tricky time yesterday getting my aperture set right and having enough light in my shots. I will have to re-learn slowly. A guy who saw my camera yesterday said "Hey, nice camera! I have the same one", I smiled and said "They're awesome aren't they?" and continued walking. But yes, there are so many remarkable places to capture on film here. Sometimes when I'm randomly walking, I see something or a moment or someone who I think would make for such a perfect print, and I wish I had camera in my head so I could just blink and capture that moment. Alas, we're not mechanically enhanced. So I just have to live with that shot in my head, unable to share it. I would really like to go out one day with camera and tripod (I'm still rationalizing about the tripod, because I wouldn't want to be awkwardly carrying it around), and walk by the canal and take shots of everything. I've still yet to perfect my angles, but that shall come with time. Sometimes I'm looking at photos from various people and just think "Oh goodness, to be as marvellous as they are..." I'm quite often blown away by some photos. They're insignificantly simple but they'll have you staring at it for a good ten minutes. I think I shall have to develop my own unique style of photography, something not extremely obvious, but noticeable enough for them to look at a photo and think/say "Ah yes, Iman took that." Still, it's early days. I suppose I will slowly develop into some sort of film goddess. Or of that sort.

It is getting colder up here (for people in Malaysia)/down here (for people in various parts of Canada) which is quite an experience in itself. I sleep more, eat more and dress more. Thoughts of me as a giant brown blob when classes resume in January haunt me when I excessively eat Jell-O. I looked at the weather app on my iPhone yesterday and gave a tiny a little 'whoop' when I saw that it was 7C. I wouldn't have to wear my gloves :) Yesterday was nice and warm.Yes, the weather and I will always have a love-hate relationship, but it is one I am willing to endure as long as I get my beavertails come January/February. Which reminds me: I've got to get my own pair of ice-skates soon. I hope the ELPers can get together (I haven't met everyone yet! But I would like to!) and go skating once the canal freezes over. That shall be sublime.

Something that I have come to notice is that people recognize me from different places and they will randomly come up or stop me as I'm passing them and say "Hi, I saw you the other day at so and so, and I thought I'd say and hope to see you again soon". I love it when people do that! I really like getting to know other people and broadening my little spectrum of friends. It's happened of couple of times, and they're mostly people from ASB and ELP and sometimes just someone in one of my classes. I suppose when you're wearing a scarf, you don't visually blend in a crowd and tend to stick out a bit, which is fine :) And I've met a couple of people at the Journalism Mentorship Night and at one of the ELP workshops that I went to, who said "You're the girl with the blog", to which I reply to "Hah, yes. That would be me", and then we'd smile and talk about other things. So that's me, The Girl With The Blog. I'm really eager to read blogs from the other ELPers. So if you guys are reading this, I hope you guys start one up so I wouldn't be so lonely on the ELP blog list! I've even got a link on the right side of this site for the other ELP blogs.

This post has been scattered all over the place, it is mirroring my thoughts, I apologize. I tend to do my readings for the week the night after the lecture. For example: FILM 1000 (week 2) is Monday night, so I'd read the readings for the next week (week 3) on the same night as the week 2 lecture, just so I'd still be fresh from all things film-ish, and I'd be extra prepared for next week. I do that for all five classes, and I've been quite consistent. But none of my readings for next week are finished. The Human Rights Essay took a lot of my neurons and time. When I do readings, I don't simply just read the assigned readings, I actually sit and take notes as I read. Some of my friends have said that it's preposterous to do that for five classes (an average of 40-50 pages per class). But that's the only way I can do it. I can't 'just' read without having a pen and scribbling (neatly!) down notes in my notebook. Oh goodness, I'm coming off as a super nerd. Well, perhaps I am :) So that's why this post has been slightly 'all over the place', because I am subconcisouly thinking about my un-prepared-ness for next week. Hope you had a great weekend!

The photos used in this post was taken by yours truly on the 31st of October 2009.

dust powder.

Something a someone gets when they're away from home is an obligatory care package, filled with the good little things that you miss about home and extras that make you wish you were home. Fine, maybe it's just me that gets these packages. Either way, I am blissfully content; thank you mommy! The video's-screen-shot-face is atrociously ridiculous, youtube does this to me all the time.